veryoldlady:

setheverman:

don’t worry, you’re still in the “early life” part of your wikipedia page

cool

shitboy96:

I can be your Ellen the generous 😇.. or your Ellen degenerate 😈

antiandrogen:

water sign: just be honest with me, i dont need you to spare my feelings i just want the truth

me: *is honest with them*

water sign:

raichuu:

greatlordfluffernutter:

mylittleghoulscout:

did you know that Friday 13th was meant to be a really good lucky day meant for fucking because it was dedicated to Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility and the patron goddess of Fridays

but then Christianity found out about it and were like “Fucking???? outside of marriage????? NO NO NO!!!” and decided it was a horrible terrible bad unlucky day and you need to be super careful of everything you do in case you die or some shit.

so thanks Christians for ruining everyone’s fucking fun

Petition to bring back Friday the FUCKteenth.

boyfriendmachine:

not to be fake deep but mamma mia.. here i go again.. my my.. how can i resist ya….. mamma mia, does it show again.. my my, just how much ive missed ya.. yes, ive been brokenhearted………… blue since the day we parted.. why why did I ever let u go……. mamma mia.. now I really know.. my my, i could never let u go…………..